Touchscreen

AFWEZIG (absent) was an exhibition with live performance in 2007 at HotelMariaKapel.

It was a result of an intense workshop of video and performance given by Danielle van Vree and Rick Stout.

‘Touchscreen’ is a stretch fabric in a doorway where I stood behind. When people touch the screen I would touch back and they could touch and feel my body. The second they stop touching I stop with being against the screen. I could not see the person who was touching me and they couldn’t see me. The screen created distance between the viewer and me, at the same time I did not have a personal space. Usually when you are able to see the person in front of you, you create a larger personal space than when you can't see that person. But when you can not see that person and you do not feel that you are being watched your actions are less restrained. In this case, they would touch the screen shamelessly. I was conscious that a person’s touch would reflect the person’s thought. Some are more innocent than others. I knew it would be a very intimate piece and it was, in the broadest sense of the word. I emotionally felt the way they where touching me. Sometimes as if I were a baby in a belly that is being caressed tenderly and sometimes the touch was rough and unpleasant, I felt sometimes abused. I did not anticipate feeling threatened, even though I knew I was save. I exposed myself in this performance and let people decide how they would treat me. I placed a hidden camera right above the screen to film the touching. It was shown on a television screen, which you could see from outside the building. This camera was there to be able to see people’s reaction on to the ‘Touchscreen’. They are being filmed unconsciously and are being watched by people who just visited the ‘Touchscreen’. By watching other people touch me, I hoped that I could stir up some shame or relief in them.